(This one would probably make a little more sense if performed.)
Futuristic looking nightclub.
PIANO PLAYER is warming up on an antique piano (the only antique in the club).
BOB is behind the bar, talking on a futuristic looking phone.
Bob: Two Cardinals hats?? The Cardinals suck this year — why would I wanna let you sell those in my club?
I’m not sure how I feel about letting you harass my customers with this bullshit, anyway.
Official business venture, huh? Well, how come you don’t do business somewhere else?
Do you have a fictitious name cert — wait, what!? From The Vatican!? How … I thought you meant St. Louis – I know you knew I meant the St. Louis Cardinals, and, no, I don’t think you’re an idiot … well, perhaps, I do … how do you know they’re real?
So, you don’t have any documentation …? You think people can tell the difference between frankincense from The Vatican and frankincense from your basement?
I don’t know where you’d get frankincense from … it’s not that hard to find — where the hell did you get two Vatican Cardinal hats with frankincense on them!??
You can get frankincense from … plenty of shops.
Shops. I’ve seen it around.
LADY walks in and asks piano player: Excuse me, sir, do you know “Here I am, Lord”?
You’re not going to believe who just walked in here.
I don’t know what she wants. Hold on — hey! Hey! What did I tell you about playing those types of songs!
Piano Player: People like them.
I know people like them, but that’s ridiculous. Everything gets more popular after a death, but I’m not having it in this club!! I’m not helping turn dead, Catholic Church hymns turn into pop songs! I’m not doing it! I don’t care how much people like them, now! Tell the lady to pick another song!
I’m sorry, mam, you’re just going to have to pick something else.
Do you know ”Die Wacht am Rhein” …?
We don’t play Nazi fight songs, either!
Impressive. I didn’t think you’d catch that.
I’m not as stupid as you thought I was.
Yes. You were. But, it seems I may have gotten to you. Upgraded your brain since then?
We’re not open yet. Get the hell out of here!
I’m thirsty, and I wan’t to enjoy a drink at that bar while this nice man plays me a song.
Back into the phone: Screw it. I don’t care what you do. I … no, I do care … I just mean go ahead and bring the damn hats!!